Well it’s 4am so I haven’t taken the time to read all the replies to this, so I’m sorry if the conversation has moved on or if I’m repeating or contradicting anything that’s already been said! But to directly answer your question: I don’t think your wife and in-laws are ashamed of you or your tattoos. I hide my tattoos around one set of my grandparents, because they are extremely against that sort of thing. And I see them a LOT and they have a nasty habit of dropping round uninvited so now I’ve had my arms done I have a cardigan on hand downstairs in case of any surprise visits. I’ll also be going on holiday with them later in the year by which point I’ll have even more work done and I’ll still be keeping them hidden. This is my own personal choice – I’m not in the slightest bit ashamed of myself or my tattoos, but mostly I want to save the hassle and the arguments, and partly I know that this will really hurt my nana – she has such an ideal (naive) image of what someone should be like and what is bad for people. And it’s fucking annoying yes. But I know there is no way I will ever convince her that it’s actually okay. So I’m saving myself the hassle and saving her the hurt. And I think your wife and in laws are wanting to do the same.
I think it’s just a question of respect. It’s not a massive put-out is it – you don’t spend all day every day with her? So on the occasions you see her, I don’t think it’s going to be too difficult to cover up, and not to do so would be cutting your nose off to spite your face, because it will create a heap of hassle just so you’ve made a point. (Because I don’t believe you can’t wear long sleeves once in a while – most people in good jobs with tattooed arms have to wear long sleeves every day for work). I’m not saying I think they are in the right – there is nothing I hate more than people who slap their ignorant discrimination on people with tattoos. But you have to be realistic, look at the facts and keep the politics out of it – you’re never going to get her to like the tattoos, it will cause an uproar if she sees the tattoos, it’s not that difficult for you to keep them hidden around her, and this is something your wife has asked you to do. I’m not suggesting you should be a doormat to your wife – but this is involving her family – and I think the decent thing to do would be to respect her wishes on this one. Just my 2pence.
Fot the OP: I don’t think anyone, enither your wife, nor your wife’s parents are ashamed of your tattoos. It’s more the case of not wanting to upset grandma.
I got the same feeling regarding my father… When I got my tattoo (it’s low on the back), I showed it to my mother, but I choose not to show it to my father. In my fathers eyes, I’m still his little princess playing with dolls… and little princesses playing with dolls do not have a tattoo across their back. I’m sure my mother told him, but unless he ever asked to see it, I wouldn’t show.
But… he did see it anyway. Playing horseshoes on the lawn, I was throwing, my father and my friend standing behind me. And my friend ran up and pulled my trousers and knickers down a bit to check out what my tattoo looked like at that point (she also had one done at the same time as me, and hadn’t seen it since the tattoo palour, 5 years before). My father saw it, and since then we’ve both been pretending that has never happened. lol!
My father isn’t against tattoos. He’s got one himself. But just like your wifes family not wanting grandma to think that your wife might actually have married a man, and not some “perfect” religious prince… both me and my father want the illusion of me being a “perfect” little girly princess.
I did tell my family, with my father included, that I am shortly getting a tattoo on my leg. But as opposed to the rest of the family, I will never show it to my father unless he asks to see it. Reason I felt I had to inform everyone was that me and my partner (yes, he’s my husband now… but the word “husband” seems very alien to me) recently got married, and instead of a wedding ring I want a tattoo to commemorate our marriage instead.
Hah! But the tattoo to commemorate the marriage has been changed a bit… lol! I have for the last 4 years planned of getting a tattoo on the inside of my left leg, not related to the marriage. But my partner likes my idea so much he wants to get one like it too. Which is a a big thing, as he’s generally opposed to tattoos . So instead of getting one that symbolises our partnership, we’ll both go for the religious one I’ve had planned to do for the last few years.
True, and I think that’s pretty much the general mindset of my wife’s family in this situation. Kind of the thought of “Look, just make sure to keep them hidden until she’s gone and then you won’t have to worry about hiding them anymore”, but my wife’s family has shown me in several other situations (too many long stories to mention) that they can be VERY hypocritical, so I’m worried that I might have to watch my back to make sure that Grandma doesn’t end up dying and then I think I’m out of the woods, but then they turn around and say “Well, I know that she’s gone now, but we have to tell your, there’s actually this friend of ours at church that doesn’t like tattoos and if you could just….” I can honestly see them doing that. But even before that point, I guess my mind stops right at the thought of “…But why should I have to wait until Grandma is gone before I can reveal part of who I am? I’m sorry, but I shouldn’t have to”.
Once again, because you’re an adult, and you love your wife. Quite whining already, you sound like you’re twelve.
Love. Peace. Metallica.
Love. Peace. Metallica.
Hear hear! This is such an annoying post. “poor me and my miserable life”. What a joke lol. It’s called having some fucking respect. Just like I have respect around my own grandparents. It’s a massive hassle because I see them so often but it’s worth it to save the upset and the arguments. He speaks like his wife and her family are the enemies. Perhaps he should throw the towel in, divorce her and go and find some teenage friends to irritate.
PS. A flaming sun around his navel? Niiice.
I’ll bet ya’ right now you probably couldn’t even handle a TENTH of the pain that I went through getting it. And I’ll tell ya’ what! I’ll make an exception for you and be generous by not even holding the fact that you’re from England against you. 😉
That’s right y’all, his dick must be HUUUUUUGE if he could get a tattoo around his navel! I mean, it’s not like my sister, who’s five nothing and weighs literally ninety-five pounds, got a huge, complex vine piece that radiates out from her navel to her sides and took nearly twenty hours! And I bet none of the rest of us got tattoos in painful places like joints, necks, and along the spine! God, we are such PUSSIES compared to the ‘dude.
…pain is half the point of tattoos ‘dude. It’s part of what gives them their mystic, part of the price we pay to get into the club, along with knowing that we’re no longer 100% socially acceptable. But it seems to me that you haven’t fully processed these facts.
So I’ll repeat myself one last time: some people hate ink. When it’s strangers, fuck’em, but when it’s family, just like with many areas in life connected to family, you have to make concessions. For the last six years of my grandmother’s life, she never saw me out of long sleeves. This was a MAJOR pain in my ass, considering that I put hundreds of hours every summer into maintaining her gianormous and elaborate flower garden, but I did it because A) I’m an adult and realized how much of a fight it’d cause if she saw my ink, B) I respected her, C) I realize that compromise is one of the most important things holding a family together, and D) and I can’t stress this enough, I’m an adult.
As for bragging about the pain, in a crowd of untattooed people, it sounds like macho bravado. In a room full of people where EVERYONE has at least some work, and others (like me) have more serious work than you by far, you sound like you’re a twelve year old boy trying to prove how brave he is to his friends by entering that ole haunted house.
In closing, I got to ask:
What wrong with the English? Other than that they spell the word “colour” wrong, they seem to rock as hard as us Americans.
Just, you know, with less gun violence.
Love. Peace. Metallica.
KnightHawk –
I replied on the basis he was being sarcastic – do you really think a supposedly grown man would seriously brag about the pain of some 1990’s navel sun tattoo, to a bunch of people who have some major detail over virtually bare bone?? I’m beginning to wonder if he’s for real now that I’ve read your healthy rant! That would be simply hilarious! Mmm and your paragraph about being an adult, having respect, making compromises etc. is entirely correct, I’ve kinda given up with making this point though, I think some people are a lost cause! But I must point out that the British spelling is actually correct and the Americans are wrong :p We do drive on the wrong side of the road, though, I’ll admit that. And you should come on holiday to nottingham, some areas you get shot for, god forbid, just being white!
A) Spell check says it’s color, and since spell check knows all the words, you Brits are wrong, B) it’s ass not arse, and C) yeah, you’re right, you do drive on the wrong side of the road. 😉
Seriously though, I’ve known guys who do exactly that: brag to a room full of more tattooed people about how much their ink hurt and how badass they were for enduring it. It’s usually some young punk (god, I’m 25 and I sound like an old man) with a ghetto, rapper wanna-be piece, like a rhino in a big white tee, a backwards baseball cap, and holding a glock semi-auto gansta style. Yes, I’m thinking of someone specific, but he’s like the tenth guy I’ve seen do it, only to shut the hell up when I take my jacket off, or when one of the artists at the shop I go to walk in.
So, since the dude is being the way he is about compromising for his wife’s happiness, I’m not really willing to give him the benefit of a doubt.
As for Nottingham, it can’t be much worse than the Over the Rhine area in my hometown of Cincinnati, or the south side of Chicago, both of which I wandered into in my misspent youth looking for…well, the sort of things young, stupid men go looking for in the poor districts of the city.
Frankly, I’m less worried about getting shot going to such places than my wife finding out after the fact. Now THAT, my friend, is scary.
Love. Peace. Metallica.
I’ve actually never met anyone in real life that’s ever complained about how painful a tattoo was… never. I think the most I’ve ever heard anyone ever say is “yes, it was fairly painful right here on the bone, but well worth it”. lol!
However, I listened to the friend of my friend screaming like a piglet whilst getting her done (me, my friend, and this girl had ours done at the same time)… only to say afterwards “that wasn’t painful at all”. ROFL!
Oh, and “arse” is a much cooler word then “ass”… and my spell check says “colour”, therefore colour must surely be the correct way of spelling it..? 😉
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