HOW THE ANGEL GOT ON TOP OF THE XMAS TREE

It was a dark, bleak Christmas eve and things weren’t going well for Santa at all.

Mrs. Clause had gastric bypass surgery, lost a lot of weight, had a tummy tuck and breast implants then ran off to Brazil with a cabana boy.

The elves turned the workshop into a meth lab and blew it up. Those who lived were arrested by the Feds and taken to prison. In an escape attempt they bribed some inmates to throw them over the fence. Unfortunately that didn’t work; they are still picking the tiny bodies out of the barbed wire…

Rudolph got in over his head at the casino, couldn’t pay his loan shark so they sent Joey Bagadonuts to rip off his nose. It “glows” no more.

Vixen and Donner announced they were gay and getting married in California but then they repealed the statute. Instead, they went to CT where it was legal and haven’t been heard from since.

The other reindeer had a wicked case of diarhea and there was NO WAY Santa was getting in a sled risking a most certain face full of shit storm…

Just as a migraine was brewing inside the jolly man’s head there came a weak knock at his front door. Santa angrily threw open the door-his face crimson and his breathing heavy-looked down where saw the tiniest, most beautiful Angel he had ever seen toting a long, thick Christmas tree behind her.

She had golden gossamer wings, pink rosy cheeks, glitter all around her. Her wide eyes were sky blue, her halo lit up around her head. Her scent was sweet, relaxing, innocent. “Santa,” she began in a soft, melodic voice, “where should I put the Christmas tree?”….

…And that’s how the Angel got on top of the Christmas Tree….