So I am sat at home and my daughter pays me a visit – to see how I am but as any parent knows to tap some cash.:rolleyes:

(As some background I had my daughter at 16 so she is 16, but lives with her mother).

I see she has one of her g/f’s with her but closer look shows yep it is a guy in full black lipstick and eye-shadow – Nice. (lmao).

She goes hello Matthew (she uses my first name which I don’t mind unless she wants something and it is dad).

I go you want a beer – he was like uh no so I get him a milk (ok I am thinking good for the bones eh) whilst my daughter is getting ready.

Emo – ‘Uh so you like a friend?’
Me – ‘Something like that.’ (I can smell a wind-up like blood to sharks – a mile away) 😉

Emo – ‘Just she said she don’t have any older brothers.’
Me – ‘She doesn’t. Why?’

Emo – ‘Well just wondering who you are cos she never shuts up about you’.
Me – (Crying on the inside watching him squirm) ‘I see..’

Emo – ‘Well I just want you to know I am not jealous like’
Me – ‘Jealous?’

Emo – (Going beetroot red) ‘Well you know she obviously likes you or something even if you are waay too old for her’.
Me – (Leaning in real close) ‘So what are you suggesting?’

Emo – ‘Nothing.. ah uh I mean that came out wrong’.

Anyhow my daughter walks in and says ‘So how you 2 getting on?’

Me – ‘Your b’f seems to think I have some sort of sick thing for you.’

Daughter to Emo – ‘You fuckin sicko! That’s my dad I just introduced you to!’

By this time I am in hysterics his face damn I was trying to reach my camera but I was just laughing too hard. His mouth just opening and closing like a fish.

He was going but you call him Matthew and and…

Daughter to Emo ‘And! I call him Matthew because he jokes he is too young to be called dad wtf has that got to do with anything?’

She chucked his arse out the door and then had a hissy fit with me for not introducing myself – I was like hey I was been nice and he brought up the whole thing.

Family just cannot please em all. 😀

Matthew