Since I was a little kid I have hated clowns.
I recall at age of 7 I was taken to a circus and I slipped off and saw some of the clowns hanging out the back taking a break and smoking. One of them gave me the creepiest smiles that had ‘pederast’ just slapped all over it. Anyhow I refused to watch the opening acts as it was all clowns.
It was years before I bothered to find out that my fear is called coulrophobia.
Anyhow I have been having the freakiest of nightmares this last couple of weeks.
It starts off I decide to go get a tattoo and I jump the train to hit my tattooist. The street is dead of night and I can see what looks like 2 kids crouching over in the gutter.
As I walk by the fugly little bastards are stuffing something into their mouths and it is all furry and wriggling and I look at their feet and they have those ridiculous clown shoes on that are about 3 yards long.
This freaks me out so i leg it into the tattooist and up the stairs.
Everything looks kind of normal except all the walls are covered with fucked up clown flash art and I turn around and the doorway has gone.
That’s when the music starts I hear this screechy gramaphone version of ‘Blue Moon’ (I really hate Elvis)
So I see a tunnel ahead with some bobbing lights and think ‘well lets check it out’.
I walk into a cavern and there are all these people gagged and tied up kneeling in the centre. I am liek WTF?
I walk over to start to untie ppl and this hand lands on my shoulder wearing those white mickey mouse gloves.
I spin around and face to face with the scariest looking clown ever (I mean it makes IT look cuddly) this bastard has a smile so wide you could fit your arm in sideways and it is all teeth but the worst bit is the purple frizzy hair. He is also around 7 feet tall on these long gangly stilts.
Anyway I am trying to pull away and punching this dude in his (red) nose and he is just laughing and gurgling at me – I look around and these other clowns are busy cutting the throats of the ppl in the middle.
The I look down and see that I am wearing these awful pantaloons and then back at my hands and those damn white gloves.
I start to shout and sit upright in the tattooist chair (soaking with sweat) and say to the tattooist ‘damn must have dropped off..’
The tattooist has his back to me and then I realise I am strapped to the tattooist chair.
The tattooist turns around and it is the same fucking clown who throws a switch and electrifies me in the chair. 😮
That’s when I wake up (for real).
I went to my Dr who just plain laughed in my face and said I am too anxious about it and a by-product of too much stress. (Bastard).
Whilst writing about it I can see an element of humour – am I been too much of a pussy getting freaked by a seven foot tall, murderous clown-tattooist??
So yeah I hate clowns.
Matthew
dude thats some mad dream ive had a quick google to see wot it may mean and found these
To see a clown in you dream, symbolizes absurdity, light-heartedness, and a childish side to your own character. The countenance of the clown is a reflection of your own feelings and emotions. Whether it is a happy clown or a sad clown, that will help guide you through how you may be feeling. The actions of the clown signifies your uninhibited nature. Alternatively, it is an indication of your thoughtless actions.
If you have a fear or phobia of clowns, the clown may represent a mysterious person in your life who mean you harm. Somebody you know may not be who they appear to be. Or somebody may be pretending to be somebody they are not and are hiding under a facade.
CLOWN : The obvious meaning of clowns is that you feel foolish or that you may have been seen as an object of ridicule who cannot be taken seriously. But clowns also can be linked more frequently to false emotions. They may symbolise someone who is not dealing with some trauma very well – putting on a brave face and not really dealing with emotional upset. Clowns are also symbols of false and deceptive people who claim to be sympathetic.
Hi Xander
Thank-you for that it actually helps a lot.
A first I thought it might be work issues as we are getting new management and a serious toughening up of the work and conditions etc.
Thinking on this explanation though I realise that the real problem is that I have been finding it hard to deal with my brother’s death.
It has been 12 years since my brother was killed and nobody has ever been brought up on it – one of those nobody knows or sees anything – in case the retribution heads back on them.
I think that i am perhaps lying to myself about how I feel about the situation as things are always calm on the outside, but not so smooth inwardly.
Much appreciate the help on that.
Take Care
Matthew
I only ever found clowns scary once. My friend Blunt had scored some killer acid, and not long after I dropped some my sister/his girlfriend suggested we go to King’s Island’s Fearfest, which is an amusement park down this way that opens like a dozen differently themed haunted houses every Halloween, and that year they had a psychedelic clown house….
It did not go well.
But, no man, you ain’t a pussy. What freaks you out freaks you out. You only become a pussy when what freaks you out keeps you from doing what you got to do…and seriously, your dream is like something out of a horror movie. I’d be freaked out too if my dreaming mind could string together that coherent of a story-line.
Do yourself a favor and don’t go looking for symbolism, or what it means man. Sometimes your mind just DOES shit, and you can drive yourself crazy looking for reasons behind it.
Also…I’m sorry for you loss.
Love. Peace. Metallica.
Much appreciate the replies.
I have decided to just ignore it and hopefully it will ease off.
Thanks KH I accepted the fact that with my brother’s lifestyle and chosen profession he wouldn’t see 25 but just grates on me I couldn’t get my hands on the bastards I think was responsible.
I spent a lot of money and 2 years banging heads together but nobody was talking – I will just have to wait and hope that karma gives them a serious castrating.
Take Care
Matthew
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