I am the first to admit that in my day to day dealings I am a cranky, humourless, and general nasty bastard.

It goes with the territory really but what cracks me up is when you are minding your own business and people just feel they have the right to comment (nastily) about your ink or tattoos in general.

Here are just a few I have had over the last year or so and my responses…

I am stood on a crowded bus in a vest and an old biddy is tutting and sighing about my tattoos. (She had a face hard enough to crack a diamond).

I lean over and say ‘Are my tattoos offending you?’
‘Yes!’ she says.
I say ‘Good!’ and carry on reading my newspaper.

‘Only masochists get tattooed’ – ‘Yeah so what’s less painful – being tattooed or being married to you?’

‘A tattoo is a sign of low intelligence’ – ‘That is fascinating as I only got these pictures tattooed on as I heard you cannot read’.

‘Only sluts dig tattoos on men’ – ‘Damn that is no way to talk about your mother’.

‘People only get tattooed because they have low self esteem’ – ‘Maybe so but it saves on storage space and how come you have over 200 pairs of shoes?’

‘People with tatts think they are well hard’ – ‘Lets look at the logic a needle dragging through flesh hundreds of times per minute and we do it for the sake of art – yep I would say we ain’t soft you pussy.’

‘Do you really hate yourself so much that you have to mutilate your body?’ – ‘No it was after the first conversation I had with you I realised that I would go insane if I had anything remotely in common with yourself’.

‘Getting tattooed is something only a child would do as it is childish’ – ‘So you agree that children should be tattooed then?’

‘You know what I loved about Saudi?’

‘No what?’

‘No Pigs, Jews, or Tattoos’

‘Sweet I should go with you and we can tick all those boxes!’

😀

Take Care
Matthew