Two Irish men park their car, shut the door then realise they have locked the keys inside, paddy sez we could get a coat hanger and try to unlock it or prise the door open, Mick sez what ever we do. we better hurry it’s starting to rain and the tops still down!!!!!!.

A pregnant Irish lady is involved in an accident and falls into a coma.
A year later she awakens and asks about her baby. The doctor said you had twins, a boy and a girl, you’re uncle Patrick has taken them in.
‘Oh no!’ she says ‘He’s mad…. did he name them?’
‘Yes’ says the doctor, the girl is Denise.
‘Oh, that’s ok’ said the woman, ‘I like that. What’s the boy called?’
‘Denephew’ said the doctor……