These are classified ads, which were actually placed in UK newspapers:? ?

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.? 8 years old.? Hateful little bastard.? Bites!? ?

FREE PUPPIES? 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour’s dog.? ?

FREE PUPPIES.? Mother, a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.? Father, Super Dog… able to leap tall fences in a single bound.? ?

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.? Also 1 gay bull for sale.? ?

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!? Must sell washer and dryer £100.? ?

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.? Worn once by mistake.? Call Stephanie.?

?*** And the WINNER is… ***? ?

? ?

FOR SALE BY OWNER.? Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica,? 45 volumes.? Excellent condition…..£200 or best offer.? No longer needed; got married last month.? Wife knows f#%#%#g everything!