Okay, generally speaking, I don’t dream.. at all.
It happens maybe 4-5 times a year that I actually wake up and know that I’ve been dreaming.

So this morning, I actually had a dream, and it kinda freaked me out.

I went to a tattoo shop somewhere, and brought with me some images for reference. I remember the images being all bleeding colors and rainbows and whatnot… real gay and artsy. Not exactly my cup of tea. I talked with the artist and all the while felt that I didn’t really trust him to do a piece this complex (and no, it wasn’t complex at all), but I went ahead with it and asked him to do it. It was supposed to be an arm piece, shoulder to elbow.

While he’s working on me, he asks me about the zodiac tattoo I have on my wrist, and I tell him it’s the zodiac of my ex, that I got for her… and immediately started thinking “when the hell did I get a tattoo for her??”

So time goes on and he’s more or less done with my back (???) when I see that his apprentice (a pretty girl) is feeling a bit dejected, so I ask her if she wouldn’t like to do something on me as well. She goes ahead and tattoos my leg, just above my ankle, with a gigantic number 1. It was like 4″ tall by 2″ wide, solid black and EXTREMELY ugly.

Then I look in the mirror and see that my back looks NOTHING like what I had asked for, and is REALLY poorly done. Great, what a good day. I don’t say anything about it all being shitty, but instead just go to pay for the stuff. The cashier tells me that the regular price is $520, but how much would I like to pay? I’m all, “WTF? I dunno..” and he goes “$70? $90?” So I pay him $60 and leave the store.

And then I wake up.

What. The. Fuck? 5 dreams a year and I have to dream THIS shit? Why can’t I have dreamc*nts like normal people?

So this evening I’m driving and go past a local tattoo studio, and I remember that they have an opening this evening. Should I go in and get something good? But then I remembered the dream (had completely forgotten about it) and hurried away quickly before I relived the dream (or should I say nightmare?).

Shit, man, I may never want to get tattooed again 😀