Wassup.

I was busy rolling a blunt and realised it was time that I got my shit together and move up the ambitions.

I mean sellin’ crack and riding around with my arse hanging outta my jeans whilst I rob the corner shop is a serious GANGSTA biz but a man has to have plans.

So I said it’s time to lay down my cannon – cos I broke my wrist anyway firing the thing sideways trying to light some bitch up and found that the barrel was bent or sumthin cos that bullet went all wanted and shit cos it curved right round and hit me in the butt-cheek! 😮

Anyhow during my stint in the grid I really began slingin that ink.

For the first 2 years I was just a strict razor and biro ink sorta guy – it was real clean and shit I would like spit and wipe the blade before we started.

Then I really got my artistic shit going with my killer toothbrush and guitar string gun. That is really the shitz and I can even get the ink to stay in now!

The first few dozen were an issue but I soon got the gripe sorted you just keep working over that skin again and again until that ink holds. The blood just keeps the tat looking fresh I always say.

If that fails I just pour the ink into my hands (I always wash em in water so no need for gloves – just make your hands sweaty) and rub em into the cut.

Anyhow I am back out and just bought myself a top range kit off the ‘Bay I got everything for $45 you can’t go wrong!

So just wanted to say I expect all you artists to damn well apprentice me cos not only do i know my shit but you owe me this chance!

My main strengths are

I can spell all swear words right.

I got my own bat for robbing customers.

I can roll a reefer the length of my forearm but only smoke half before any ink session and the rest after.

Lol

Am I being too cynical in my chances of you taking me on as an apprentice?? :p

Take Care
Matthew