I got a letter from a sweet old lady I visit to make sure that she gets some company since she went into sheltered accommodation. As a back drop she is very mentally very with it at 85 but physically frail. I have put explanations in brackets for some of it.

‘Dear Matthew,

I hope you had a lovely shabbat (sabbath).
I just wanted to write a little letter to say thank-you for your help in putting all my records onto that plastic chip (SD disc). It must have taken you hours to do! It was a real mitzvah (blessing).

As for that horrible knacker (roughly means big-shot or boss) at the shop who was trying to sell me that fancy wireless he would have left me kapsten (poor) if you had not stepped in and bought me that lovely wireless and chip player (MP3 player).

Well just between you and me ‘Maiven’ (she is talking about her neighbour and refers to her as the ‘expert’ she has a forceful opinion on everything) came barging into my room demanding to know what I had been buying.

She was awful! She said that I was meshuganeh (crazy) to listen to a mamzer (bastard) like you. That you were you were not really a jew (because I have tattoos) but a devil sent to rob me.

Well she really upset me so I told her to leave and that you paid for my wireless and have never asked for anything.

Anyway you know how in six years she never lent me her wireless once, even when she was not using it. Monday night she dropped it and it broke.

She wanted to borrow mine. I took on board how you said that I should be more assertive and tell her how I feel about things.

Well I did. I told her to fuck off!

G-d bless and keep you’

I screamed with laughter and just had to share it was ace 😀

Take Care
Matthew