The following are all replies that have been included on the UK Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father’s details.

– Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by [name removed]. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

– I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

– I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party [address and date given] where I had unprotected sex with a man, I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number?
Thanks

– I don’t know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.
Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he’s had it replaced.

– I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from Pope confirming that my son’s conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

– I cannot tell you the name of child A’s dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by my country please advise.

– [name given] is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs ?

– From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom?