March 22, 2010 at 5:34 pm #33214
Tashface
Participant
@tashface

And it’s really annoying me!
I’m in the midst of designing my second tattoo, which I hope to get pretty soon.
I’m not a designer, though. 🙁 I can draw, but I’m just pathetic when it comes to being creative with this kind of thing. I want a fairly abstract phoenix rising upwards, nothing too detailed.

qqreo3.jpg

(it’s a really initial design, it’ll change very much before I decide to get it done.)

I think it’ll be going on the right side of my lower back, so I’m contemplating making the tail a little longer to wrap round my side just a tad. But I dunno. Seeing as it’s only my second I don’t want anything massive.

Is there anything you guys can think of to make it better? I know it’s missing something, there’s something that’s irritating me about it, but I don’t know what it is. Any help’d be appreciated.
Thank you <3

March 22, 2010 at 7:16 pm #84706
inkart
Participant
@inkart

While I really like the overall look of this design, I think that the proportions of the wings compared the body, as well as the overall shape kind of make this read as a lobster (like if you were to simplify the shape and just look at a silhouette). I think the tail is also a little short and wide and the overall action line is a little straight—it might be nice if it had some curve to it to make it feel more flexible. The linework is great and the concept works. I think that it just needs a few small tweaks to be perfect.

March 22, 2010 at 7:18 pm #84707
Tashface
Participant
@tashface

Haha, I hear that (the lobster thing)! One of my friends said that the other day 😛

Thank you very much for the advice, I’ll rework it a little and repost in a bit 🙂

[EDIT]

99o35s.jpg
Sorry for the poor quality, was taken with my webcam.
I’m still not keen on the wings, but I think the tail is much nicer now.

March 22, 2010 at 9:48 pm #84712
inkart
Participant
@inkart

I love the tail now. I like the shape of these wings better, but I liked the other ones because they were more wispy. I think you’re really close. Can’t wait to see the final product.

March 22, 2010 at 10:11 pm #84713
Tashface
Participant
@tashface

Thank you!
I’ll do some doodles in school tomorrow and post it up 🙂

March 23, 2010 at 7:45 pm #84735
Sherav
Participant
@sherav

Hi Tashface

Inkart hit it on the head the wing proportion and tail detail were slightly off but much better alignment with the change.

My only other suggestion is take a look at the head position and curve the skull a little more.

The tattoo artist will be able to use those sketches no sweat but you certainly have talent and keep at it.

Take Care
Matthew

March 27, 2010 at 2:39 am #84950
Demure
Participant
@demure

To add, maybe curve the head to either side and point the beak a little more. It’s a bird right? Not a red angel. 🙂

August 24, 2010 at 2:55 am #92267
ataraxia
Participant
@ataraxia

i think that is going to look great!

August 24, 2010 at 11:30 pm #92326
gnarly
Participant
@gnarly
Demure;64529 wrote:
To add, maybe curve the head to either side and point the beak a little more. It’s a bird right? Not a red angel. 🙂

I think this is a great suggestion.

February 8, 2011 at 6:49 am #98772
maniacthw
Participant
@maniacthw

I think the tail needs a little more length and it needs to wrap a little bit more. Just my opinion.

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