Hey guys, I need a bit of help justifying why I want a tattoo as a means of explaining it to other, especially family members. Firstly I am not a kid. Actually I am in my late 30’s. I have a very close family and extended family.
For years I have always wanted a tattoo. I want consider myself decent looking with an athletic look.
Two years ago I went through a traumatic experienced which burnt parts of my face and under my eye. It has been tough accepting the change in appearance albeit not a major change.
I have thought long and hard and if I proceed with a tattoo it will not be in haste and will be a decision that I am 100% confident of doing knowing full well the ramifications for certain employment.
Since my look has already been altered and that it has made me go from someone who was supremely confident in their looks to someone lacking in confidence. I feel as though if my looks are modified now, I want to go the whole way. I find tattoos appealing. I may be accused of trying to mask my underlying issues of my burns to certain parts of my face. They are not horrific, but enough to make me very self conscious . I feel as though tattoos will not only give me a new look but it will help deflect the attention from my burns and will give my a feeling of confidence. As I said, I’ve thought about this for a few years and will do so for another year before taking the plunge .
My place I would like to tattoo is a cross the front of my neck, the side of my neck and under my ear. I would also like maybe on the back of neck. I am leaning towards a tat with writing or a symbol which had meaning to me. I am not an old looking person even though the burns leave me feeling disattisfied with myself .
The problem I am having is trying to explain why I want this to my close knit family and friends. Basically I want to change my look. No it is not some mid life crisis. It’s all about adding a certain look with tats that will have mean in regard to what is meaningful to me in life.
I am wondering if anyone has had a similar experience or found it hard to discuss this with others who come from a generation where tats are taboo or unsightly .
Any constructive feedback would be welcomed.
Cheers!
Geoff
Well my first suggestion would be not to NOT start with tattooing your neck. I 100% promise you that people will assume based on the tattoo and the burns that you are a hardcore criminal. It sucks but that’s how it goes. Tattoos are a commitment, and I would advice you to start basically anywhere but your head first, get used to the tattoo but also the reactions, questions and all the explaining you’ll need to do. Oh and most artist won’t actually tattoo your neck/head/hands if you don’t already have a lot of ink.
Now for the psychology. I get it. I started getting tattooed very young and for a very specific reason. I love tattoos, art, the industry, the people, all of it. But I started for a reason and I guess that reason still exists for me. I got tattooed (and pierced) because I wanted to re-claim my body, mark it as my own, something I myself decide over and am in control of. I did this due to a severe eating disorder and other stuff that nearly killed me. I guess your burns may make you feel something similar. It’s always been an important aspect to me also in getting tattoos, to transform, change and mark my body in a healthy way that’s very positive for me, but that also speaks loudly to it being re-claimed. Don’t know if that helps you, but that’s my story 🙂 One, I by the way, hardly ever tell anyone. When asked, I don’t go into details. Those closest to me know and know the stories behind those of my tattoos that have one. Strangers ask, but don’t actually deserve and answer. Explain to those you feel deserve to know, screw the rest, it’s your body, do what you want.
I have an opposite view of this. I feel like if u get a tattoo because you are covering up a scar with a tattoo and you don’t give off that “thug” attitude people will be more understanding. But of course this all depends on where you are from.
Also if this helps u gain more confidence I say go for it. Just make sure you pick out a great artist especially since you want a very cliché and common tattoo.
“I’m a grown man (or woman) and I wanted a tattoo.” That is enough of a reason.
But my opinion, for what it’s worth, is that you need to “earn” a tattoo on your neck or hands. By that I mean that you should have a number of other tattoos. When I see someone with only a neck tattoo I don’t think that they are necessarily a thug but I do get a gut reaction that they are a bit douchey. I don’t get that feeling when I can see that they have other tattoos.
Your case is a little different and I understand that but I still think that you should start somewhere else and work up to the neck piece. And when you do I hope that it really does help you feel better. PLEASE use a really really good artist. A crappy tattoo will be worse than your scars. And the right artist can do something amazing for you, and for your self esteem.
And I really am sorry about your burn scars. I have a beautiful friend who has some scarring on her face from some major skin cancer surgery. They are not very noticable, her surgeon did a really excellent job, but they are the first thing that she sees whenever she looks in a mirror. I have to look hard to see them. So I have an outsider’s understanding of how it affects your self confidence, and your perception of how the world looks at you. By the way, the people that love you still see YOU, not the scarred you. But maybe a tattoo on your outside can make you feel better in your inside.
Good luck. And post pics of any tattoos you get. We love pics!
Based on these other post, I feel I should add something.
A friend of mine has severe burn scars all over her face, she will never look like herself ever again, as it covers her entire face. She got “Strength” tattooed on her wrist, and I could never disagree with a tattoo like that, even if I don’t like text tattoos. It was right for her. Always make sure the tattoos are made by the best artist you can find and get in with, always. But make sure you do it for the right reasons as well. For yourself. Find whatever is the most important to you. When I was in that phase of “anything will do, but I need SOMETHING to prove I decide over my own body” I went with what I fell in love with. What stuck with me, what strung a cord through my heart and said “THIS IS RIGHT”. Because that’s what I needed at the time. Think it over, and if it’s right for you, go for it. Find an amazing artist to do it, and do it. No explanation needed.
Lola, pox, yoda, awesome stuff guys!!!
Lola, you totally get it. As it said, my burns are not horrific. Actually, family continually tell me they are hardly noticeable but for me, it is the only thing I see when I look in the mirror. I have gone from a supremely confident person to nothing.
I get what you all mean in regard to starting somewhere different and working my way up to the neck etc area. The reasoning behind putting a tattoo in such a visual area like my neck is because my burns are in such a visual area and psychologically it deflects the the focus (for me) off the burns.
You all really seem to get it which I appreciate and Pox, that’s exactly what I feel. I’m not sure if I really thought of it before like that but u are 100% correct. I feel like I have lost control and to me the burns define me. I know this is a psychological issue and as I have said, I have been thinking about this for 2 years and by the time I take the plunge I will know it is 100% the decision I want. I’ve had to slowly watch certain parts of my look change over time due to the burn and it has been totally distressing watching these slow changes with a feeling of hopelessness . Again, they are not major burns but I have a decent scar under my eye, neary nose and my skin on one part has changed in texture. Tattooing gives me that reclaiming myself as Pox alluded to.
I am aware of the shock value it will have on others. And to be honest, I’ve been through enough over the past few years to not give a care in the world if someone thinks I look like a thug. I have led a terrible life in the past few years living like a recluse fighting severe depression. I never thought I would ever intergrate into society, so I doubt I would ever have any real regrets being seen in public looking like a thug when the very thought of being in public is a massive achievement in itself. These are psychological issues I have had to deal with and will continue to do so and I am a grounded, logical enough person to know not to make rash decisions which are permanent.
In regard to the type of tat, the “strength” style tat is exactly what I want to do. In my darkest hours a good female friend got me through by giving me some great advice in saying that I should focus on 30 min a day of something that makes me happy or gives me enjoyment. She reinforced this every time I spoke to her. I was in a terrible place and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. Thankfully I am on the other side of it now and am in a much better place. But I have certainly been humbled and I took my looks for granted pre burns. I want one of my tats to symbolise this 30 min with her initials, so it won’t look too “cliche” I hope as it will get a design that intertwines her initials with the number. I want a constant reminder like “strength” to pay homage to that time in my life and to always remember it as well. I def want something to do with my family as they have helped me enormously in my struggles. So as u can see, I only want tats that have significant meaning to me. There are a few different types that aren’t so “cliche” as well. But, I am really happy to have found this forum so that I can get feedback and bounce ideas off people in the know.
Oh, I am aware that tattoo artists usually refuse to do those areas first. Maybe I will do other areas first, but I am hoping my story will help and that he or she sees that I am genuine and have put years of thought into it and am aware of the consequences.
Thanks again guys !!! I got plenty out of your feedback and look forward to continued input on this forum. I was hoping to get constructive feedback and I did, so I am truly grateful.
Geoff
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