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too young? She’s 15 She did it while I was out of town visiting a sick relative. I feel so disrespected. Should I tell her father? should I try to work it out between the 2 of us? what consequences should I impose?
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AH…….typical american teenagers!
you might feel disrespected, yet at the same time you are imposing your values on your daughter and are forbidding her from expressing herself
Piercings can always be removed , it isn’t that big of a deal
that being said, you have to handle this right. If you punish her she will just resent you and learn to hide things from you. Instead of just telling her she isn’t allowed to get piercings, you need to open a dialog and discuss the pros and cons.
Set a comfortable environment so that she can come and discuss what she wants to do, and I think you’ll find that she will listen a lot more than if you simply order her not to do something.
as for consequences, don’t punish her, just tell her you’re disappointed
when I got my first tattoo my dad freaked out and called me all sorts of vulgar things… I haven’t spoken to him since. Let your daughter be herself…
IronKing is right, if you approach her in a way of imposement of your values you will become her enemy, and you very well could be at war for a long time. You surely should not disrespect your husband by not telling him something that is his buisiness. You could somehow use your abilities as a woman/wife and together use a little reverse phsycology and get her to respect your rules on her own terms, hence telling her your disappointed with her.
I would like to say I for one I am not a certified Counseler, so I cannot tell you I am 100% correct in this situation.
The forum nor anyone else here is responsible for any outcome expressed here.
Sorry about that, but it is the truth. Good Luck!
First: tell your husband, without her presence… Make a plan of action, together. And when you talk to her, be a united front. And like it’s been said. Don’t punish irrationally, but make her know her actions have consecuences. She knows she did wrong. Talk to her, make her see your point of view.
And keep an eye… I hope this is the worst thing she ever does :p
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Work out between u two like her buddy instead of mother – daughter.
I think piercing on face looks more wild on girl than a tattoo. A tattoo u can simply cover it when u are in formal event or when you are on working place.
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@Daz Argyle 26445 wrote:
im not trying to disrespect u ere r but we wer all young once lol , didnt u do anything ur parents told u not to lol i know i did , u shud talk it thru with her
heheee yeah… then u should tell ur daughter get piercing and she will do the opposite :p
just kiddin’ 😀
Hey my daughter will be 14 in DEC and she has had her nose pierced for about a year now. Like it was said earlier let her be her as with piercing they can be takin’ out, but with tattoos I have already told her and my 9 year old and nieces that they have to wait untill they are at least 16 and I will do them at the shop where I work and if they come home with “the old needle and thread ” type tattoos then I will put my foot up thier’s and who ever did it’s ass
IronKing… Well said chap!!
By freaking out on her you will just make her rebel and go on to do even worse. She only did that cuz it seems you wouldn’t talk it out with her like IronKing suggested. You and your husband werent listening either… she is 15… a teenager… teenagers strive for their own identity and independence… when they see they can’t even get a lil taste of that they rebel just like she did. She’s a teen… TALK TO HER dont freak out!! Yea your insulted and upset but understand you have a teenager that is stuggling to be herself as she sees fit not how mommy and daddy sees fit because apparently thats not HER.
Gosh tricky one – I still have all of that to come (my daughter is only 3 years old).
I got piercings when I was still at school because my parents were very strict and I just wanted to push the boundaries. I think that if they had been more liberal, I wouldn’t have bothered.
I think you need to discuss in an adult and friendly manner with your daughter. Embrace her choice and get involved with her decision by encouraging her to follow through with the proper aftercare, etc.
Tell her that you were disappointed in her decision not to tell you first – but that you still love her, etc, etc.
I think the important thing is to build a bridge and get her to understand that she can come to you with her issues, problems and that you won’t get mad. The way I see it is that if it is something really important – eg. she accidently gets pregnant – you would want her to come and confide in youfirst so you can help her.
Daughters…..!!! Good luck!
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